relationship deal breakers

I’m all for standards but some folks are taking relationship "deal breakers" to an unnecessary level. Check out some of the wildest I’ve seen men and women post online:


1) Too many family commitments. Would these folks prefer dating orphans?
2) Doesn't make enough money to "take care of you."
3) Is a loner or has no close friends from home or work. Because obviously anyone not a social butterfly is crazy.** /sarcasm**
4) Picky eaters. (Also known, as "She always wants her dressing on the side." And NO that is NOT a sexual metaphor.)
5) In his/her twenties.
6) False teeth. I'm guessing too many people are afraid of living that scene from I'm Gonna Get You Sucka! Bonus points if you know the scene I'm referring to.
7) Doesn't like cheese.

Seriously, people? What’s up with the romantic snobbery? I’ve narrowed it down to three possible reasons:

A) Unrealistic expectations
B) Bitter people carry a lot of emotional baggage. See "Previous Cats" by Musiqsoulchild.
C) Unrealistic beliefs about where THEY fall on the attractiveness scale.

(Spoken word artist Dana Gilmore sums up item C best in one of her pieces about a dead-end relationship: "Either I wasn't living up to my potential or I was just an average chick.")

In the past, my list of “deal breakers” rivaled the SAT Verbal prep word list in length. But life (and experience) taught me something important about my previous relationship deal breakers:

They don’t (really) matter.

The list, despite being thorough, eliminated a large portion of great men simply because they didn’t fit into a super-specific mold. And that’s lame.

My current list of deal breakers includes 5 traits: Kindness, Generosity, Respect, Spirituality and Common Sense.

Let me break it down:


KINDNESS:
How does he treat others? How does he treat animals and their habitat? How does he respond if someone treats him unkindly? (How does he treat his enemies?) Is his kindness only in theory or in practice?

You know what’s attractive? A man willing to listen to a story he’s heard a dozen times, told by a lonely elderly person. That’s the type of man I want to roll with.


GENEROSITY:
Before you start quoting Destiny’s Child’s Bills, Bills, Bills song, let me clarify. I mean generosity of spirit. Some of you are going, “huh?” This is more than how often he opens his wallet. Generosity of spirit means someone who gives willingly of his time, praise, respect and emotions -- without strings.


RESPECT:
How does he treat his parents? Older persons? Service workers? Animals? Can he show respect to someone even if he dislikes/disagrees/straight up hates someone else? Does he respect life? (Yeah, I’m getting deep on this one folks.)

A man who respects himself, others and me will show that in his actions and language. He doesn’t cheat, make a habit of lying or dodge his responsibilities (financially, family and otherwise).


SPIRITUALITY:
This is actually the most important on my list. I don’t mean someone who says they believe in God; I mean someone who does believe and shows that in all aspects of their life, including how he treats and interacts with me.

An ideal man for me is one who values his relationship with God over me. (Not doing so is what got Adam in trouble.) Basically, I want someone who won't cosign on my foolishness. A man who – if I head down the wrong path – won’t go with me; instead, he will stand firm, encourage me and give me something to return to when I find my senses.


COMMON SENSE:
Without this item, items 1 -3 mean nothing. Seriously. A man can be Brad Pitt AND Denzel rolled into one and if he lacks common sense, I’m not the one. Someone who, if we go traveling overseas, won’t decide it would be “fun” to hike across the border into a hostile country. (You all know who I’m talking about.)

Some of y’all are screaming: “But what about looks? Can you honestly say that if Denzel, Brad Pitt or Gerard Butler wanted to date you, that you’d pass them up?” To that, I say: Yes. If they lacked the above 5 traits, I’d pass. It would hurt; but I’d do it.

Now that I’ve got that off my chest, let’s open the floor.  

What are your relationship deal breakers? Have they changed in the past 5 years?